My Partner – in love and otherwise

Being new to blogging, I have been watching out for the topics posted for Daily Post everyday but none of them enticed me as this one – ‘Partner‘.

Why do I always find it interesting, if it involves you – I would’nt know.

As I was cradling our 5 month old today, he was gazing into my eyes and trying to feel my face with his tiny hands – I couldn’t help but wonder how long we have come from the time we met.

It has been more than 10 years now. I was just 20 something then. You too. Young as we were, with our lives much more simpler than now, we were so madly in love with each other. I say “we were” because the mad love has transformed into a more purposeful one now, as we take on life everyday, taking one baby step at a time, holding hands, as partners do.

I remember the year when I forgot my birthday (which I never do, being the expectant species I am), you remembered to plan and surprise me – which in itself was a surprise, given that you are too lazy to plan enough.

I remember the times when you would cajole me to eat if I’m too upset for a meal – we hardly have time for a proper meal now, let alone fuss over it.

I remember the time we held hands and ran through the streets of Madurai, with just a few minutes left to board the bus back home – We can hardly imagine doing that now with a toddler and baby in tow 😁.

I remember the countless tiffs we used to have and the hundreds of SMSes we would exchange, followed by even more appeals for forgiveness, ending in a visit to the McDonald’s (Yes, I was so obsessed with McDonald’s then, that all you had to do was take me to McDonald’s and order my fries and coke and we were, once more, the happiest couple on Earth). We hardly knew each other then – I should say. Though the sorry s have disappeared now, for some reason the fights have decided to linger. But then, what are relationships if there are no differences? It is the conscious effort to work past differences and agreeing to disagree, that proves time and again that we do care for each other.

There is no more time for explicit display of affection. Yet, the thud-thud I hear when you enter our home, never fails to tune my senses to your arrival. And in the silence of the nights, your snore beside me is the most precious sound I can wish for. And you never fail to show up in my dreams even now. As we learn everyday to be the best parents we can be for our kids, hold my hand tight partner – for the journey is becoming more challenging and I would be a lost child without you. But for you partner, life would be an endless abyss.

What I Expect From You

With a 3 year old tearing through the household faster than light, mothering her along with her 4 month old li’l brother has been nothing less than a roller coaster ride – with mind numbing ups and spine thrilling downs. My thoughts are cluttered and overflowing with To Do’s – most of which I never get a chance to get to at all. While my heart is brimming with gratitude for the precious bundles of joy that we have been trusted with – here is a list of things I expect from you to keep going – day in and day out.

1. Wish me on Mother’s day – with not just a verbal ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ which makes it sound more like a formality than a heartfelt one – but with maybe a hand written note or fresh flowers or a cute gift that proclaims your love for me – anything that would scream in the face that you thought of me and went out of the way to make me feel appreciated. The pains I experienced in all the weird places for 10 months, the never ending heartburn that kept me awake every single night of my pregnancy, the flat tummy that I was – once upon a time a proud owner of – which has become a thing of the past now, 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep which I’m never going to experience at least for the next 2 years, the carefree life which I can live only in my dreams (if I get to sleep that is), the personal space that is never mine anymore, me time that has become a totally elusive mirage – the list is endless… Enduring all this and much more becomes totally worthy the moment I look at the beaming faces of our tiny tots. Yet, the only thing that is capable of making my heart light like a fluffy cloud so I can float way above the earth is when you look me in the eye and tell me that you are aware of and appreciate everything I do to nurture our family.

2. When I occasionally ask you to change the diaper, don’t do it as a favor that you are bestowing upon me but with the enthusiasm to partake, remembering the loads of times I have filled the diaper pail.

3. When you are old and ninety, toothless, probably hairless too, trying to remember where you misplaced your glasses, I’m going to be there for you, to hold your hand and give you the strength, so together we can see our kids transform into beautiful butterflies and provide for their very own little families. In return, all that I ask you is to treat me now as family when we holiday with yours, so they can feel inclusive about me.

4. Sleep early on week ends so that you can wake up the next day with the kids and give me the much needed break to sleep late. This is not so I can sleep more but to enable me to wake up promptly for night time feedings during the week.

5. When I turn warrior trying to ward off the millions of germs from our cutie pies, I want you to watch my back. Disinfect the shopping cart. Wash hands often as needed. Take your shots on schedule. Teach our children good personal hygiene.

And last but not the least, love me as you have never before.